Serious. Can't sleep.

So...again, I can't sleep. I don't know what my deal is lately! Although, it could be because I slept in a little bit today which was nice. :)

Tomorrow is my official last day in OKC. Hard to believe that summer has passed so quickly! I truly loved my internship. It was an amazing experience and I met some awesome people that I know I will continue to keep in contact with over the years.

I think the most important thing from my internship is that it really helped with my confidence. I haven't always been really confident in my work in communications but the fact that they just handed me a camera on my first day and said, "Here ya go! Get some good pictures." And trusted me to do it was a lot for me to take in. They definitely didn't treat me like an intern but like a regular employee in their office and it really meant a lot to me that they did.

I also got to have a ton of different experiences during this internship. I traveled from Cherokee to Lake Tenkiller to Walters and everywhere in between. I saw wheat harvest, legislators, members and ranchers. It was great to see so many different aspects of our state.

However, this time around, I think I am actually going to miss OKC. I finally learned where some things were and I actually got out and drove around. Without getting lost! (Most of the time. Haha.) I got to see friends that I hadn't seen in a long time because of being in OKC so I'm going to miss that a lot too. Especially dinners with my SAM for Life. :)

I am excited to get back to Stilly though. The idea of having my own place is so tempting. I can't wait to get in there and decorate! I am ready to have Aspen back. I know that sounds silly but I have missed her over the summer and I'm ready to be around her all the time again! Until school starts, I will be working only three days a week and I am reeeeeeaaaaaalllllllly looking forward to that! Who wouldn't be excited about four day weekends for three weeks?! Maybe I should start planning a "to-do" list during that time. Haha.

Anyways, I guess I should get to sleep. Or at least try.

Maybe I'll stop at Cuppies and Joes on my way out of town tomorrow. For old times sake. I think I will. :)

I can't sleep.

I have been tossing and turning for awhile now and I can't sleep. Don't you just hate that feeling when you know you need to be asleep but your mind keeps racing and you can't for the life of you do anything but look at the clock? Yeah. That is whats happening.

Anyways, I just finished reading the most amazing book this week. It was called Summer at Tiffany's. It was written by Marjorie Hart and it is about her summer spent at Tiffany's in New York City in 1945.

Can you imagine?!

She talks about many different things in the book such as Stocking Stick (a paint they used instead of stockings because they gave up nylons for parachutes in the war), midshipman dances, Tangee lipstick, lunches for 15 cents, Queen Mary coming into the harbor and being in Times Square when it was announced that the war was over.

I just can't imagine being there! I really think I was born in the wrong time. I would have loved to have been there in the 40's.

But, one of my favorite parts throughout the whole book was when Judy Garland came into Tiffany's while Mrs. Hart was working. Oh, you didn't hear me? Yeah. I said Judy Garland. She was coming in to get a wedding present after recent marriage to Vincent Minelli. I probably would have died if that had happened to me.

However, there was a Q&A section in the back of the book with Mrs. Hart and I found one of her answers really interesting...

Hats - the bigger the better - were one of the defining fashions of 1945. Do you miss seeing women wear hats?

Hats! Whatever happened to hats? Don't get me started. Men wear anything and everything: French berets, wool hats with ear flaps, or baseball caps worn backwards. What's the matter with us? How can we make a dramatic entrance without a black wide-brimmed hat? How about a Grace Kelly turban or a fitted cloche on a bad hair day? We need hats to protect our psyche, if not our health - a wide-brimmed Panama to protect the face, a warm cashmere for winter, and a wild straw with California poppies to lighten our spirits. Personally, I wear a snug hand-knit Guatemalan number for shopping. Wouldn't it be fun to have hat stores on every corner like Starbuck's and to call a friend: "Let's meet for lunch and try on hats?"

I just love her answer. I think she and I could be friends. :)

Why...

...is it that we let other people control our feelings and emotions? I don't know about anyone else but I am a sucker....SUCKER....for letting other people influence me and how I feel from day to day. I was getting better about it and then all of the sudden, it just happened. I was back in the same place as I was before. Constantly waiting for the next phone call, text, facebook post, etc. Something...anything to let me know I wasn't alone. That they were thinking about me. I wasn't living my life for me. I was living it for someone else. I hate knowing that one person can completely determine my attitude, happiness and contentment with my life. Why do we let the people we care about the most (or want to care about the most), treat us the worst? And ultimately, let them get away with it.

The worst part about it? They don't even know it.

They just keep doing what they are doing and aren't concerned at all. But why should they be? To them, everything is perfectly fine...

Yesterday.

Yesterday, I woke up in a terrible mood. I was tired because I hadn't been able to go to sleep the night before. I woke up late so I was rushed getting ready. I felt gross, had a headache and really, I was just grumpy. I was having an all around terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I did get an email from my BFF and it managed to raise my spirits like only an email from a best friend could. She provided me with some encouraging words that helped put a lot of things in perspective. Her emails get me through a lot of days! But, by that evening, I was grumpy again.

However, I just got a new computer and I was setting up my Skype account and one of my best friends called me on there literally as soon as I got done setting it up. My friend is out of state and I haven't been able to talk to him much this summer so it was great.

And exactly what I needed.

I just needed to chill and talk about stuff that isn't really important and just catch up with a good friend. It was nice to laugh about stupid stuff. You know that feeling that you get when you are in the presence of a friend and you just feel comfortable? That was what I was needing and it thankfully happened. It put a smile on my face. And he probably has no idea how much I needed it or how much it meant to me, but it was the perfect way to end the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Memorial Day Weekend.

Memorial Day is quickly approaching and I am trying to think of ways to fill my day off. Of course, shopping is always a good choice :) but my lack of income for a good three months is causing me to be extra frugal for awhile. I am however going to good ole Stilltown for the weekend so I'm sure the remainder of the true friend club and myself will be able to find something to occupy our time.

But as I think about Memorial Day, I remember how I spent them so many times before I was an "adult." As part of our 4-H club project, we would go and put poppies on the graves of all of the veterans in our local cemeteries. I have to give credit to my sister here. For years, we had been running out of poppies before getting all of the veteran's graves covered. For her project, she found all of the veteran's graves at all of the cemeteries in town. I really admire her for that project because it took a lot of time and she did it by herself.

Anyways, I can remember doing this every Memorial Day since about the 7th grade. And, honestly, I kind of miss it. At the time, I didn't think it was that big of a deal but now I realize how much it meant to others. And how it helped me to show respect to the men and women who have sacrificed so much for my freedoms and my life.

This year I want to say thank you to all of the service men and women who are so graciously serving our country. Because of them we are able to live in a country with more freedoms than any other in the world. I am so grateful for that. And I am so grateful for the people that are willing to sacrifice for us.

I have always been supportive of the troops but I didn't really understand the emotions that come with a family member going into the military until it happened to one of my friends. And I still don't know everything but I know that it made me more aware.

So amongst a weekend of family reunions, lakes, sunshine and fun, be sure to thank our service men and women this weekend as well. They are the reason you can enjoy all of those things this weekend!

Happy weekend! :)

Now this lost soul don't know where to start...

Recently, my life has taken some unexpected turn of events. Not all of them have been bad. In fact, some of them have been really exciting!

This is going to be my first summer not to be in good ole Stilly. It is bittersweet but I'm excited to do something different. I start my internship at Oklahoma Farm Bureau a WEEK from today. Hard to believe. I'm anxious to get started that's for sure!

I've spent all weekend packing and realizing how much junk I have collected over the years. And I really want to cut a lot of it out of my life. So it has been a lot of "donate" and "trash" piles. However, I'm really excited to be getting an apartment by myself. I love love love living by myself and I can't wait to decorate and move someplace new.

This weekend is my friend's wedding. My dress is currently being altered and I just bought my shoes this last weekend. No minute like the last minute! But, it should be fun and a good chance to see all my friends before the summer.

And on top of all of that, I've got a mess of a situation going on. You know that feeling when you know that you have to deal with it but you just don't want to? Yeah...that's whats happening. And ultimately...I'm scared. I'm not ashamed to admit it because I know that I am. But it has to be dealt with before I leave for OKC... So, it looks like I have about 4 days to get my stuff together...

Here goes nothing!

Life.

Not much going on right now but I thought I would take some time on this snow day (yes, its Spring Break and I said snow day. Thanks, Mother Nature.) to write a little blog.

I spent most of the day cleaning. Trying to get this house ready to sell. And since we are selling my house, I have started apartment hunting. So far...not so good. I've found one possibility. Luckily, it is still early in the game and I should have time to find one still.

Also, just trying to make it through school and everything else. Only seven weeks left of school and then my BFF is graduating so we are going to make the most of it. Excited about that...not so excited about her actually graduating though lol.

Also, this is my current jam out song. Makes me cry every time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlXpUhAWRWs