Monday, May 4, 2009

Hold on when you feel like letting go, Hold on it gets better than you know.

I'm growing up. I don't think it was any more obvious than it was this weekend. I was talking to two of my friends, we'll call them Cappie and Rebekah (In honor of me not being able to watch Greek tonight). Now Cappie sees this other girl that he likes, Casey. He goes over and tells her to come to our little group of people and hang out. While he is gone Rebekah tells me, Oh my gosh! Cappie likes her so much. He has the biggest crush on her. So, after hearing that, I'm expecting them to talk and for Cappie to even ask her to dance or something. But no, Casey ends up standing outside the group the whole time and I never even got introduced to her. I felt so bad for her. So, if Cappie really likes her so much then why didn't he talk to her? That is what grown ups do. If you like someone, you have to make a move. You can't just sit there wishing and hoping that something will someday happen. If you do that you will waste your whole life.

Now, that being said, I am not the best at putting myself out there lol. Actually, I might be one of the worst. But that is why I think I am finally growing up. I can't take the "Oh, I think I like so and so." or "I know that so and so is one of my friends but I think there is something more." I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of people trying to make something out of nothing.

I'm waiting for that ah-hah moment. I know that sounds stupid but I'm waiting for that moment when I see someone and it just clicks. I haven't met that person that challenges me to be a better person. Or calls me out on my mistakes. Or who doesn't doubt my toughness. Or has the courage to treat me like an independent woman. I'm holding out for that.

Also, I went to Calf Fry for the 3rd year straight this weekend and realized that next year is more than likely my last year to go. While this is sad, I think I am okay with it. I mean, I had a blast seeing my friends and hanging out with people but I also remember my sister when I was a freshmen. She was a senior and could always be found at the back of the crowd, mingling and listening to music. I couldn't understand why she didn't want to be on the 2nd row of the crowd where I was with my friends. Where was I at Calf Fry this year? I was at the back of the crowd, mingling and listening to music. And I was being asked by younger classmates to go to the front and I found that I didn't want to. I've outgrown that stage of my life. Leave the crowd fighting, people pushing, and getting there at 6:30 to get a good spot to the freshmen. I'll be in the back...growing up.

1 comment:

  1. Incredible! I love this!! However, you totally lost me on the Cappie/Rebekah/Casey thing...please clue me in later. lol Growing up is hard to do. As for the first think I am great at putting myself out there, but I am terrible. We are terrible. lol. And the second...ok, I don't really have anything for this one lol. Good post though!


kmb: wild at heart.